Okay, so what exactly is a “stretch moment” when it comes to making a breakthrough?
The fact is, if you want the incredibly juicy rewards of recovery (and they are quite juicy, by the way), then you are going to have to push through some stuff, you are going to have to grind a bit, and you may even have to face some fears.
You may have to be….just a tiny bit uncomfortable.
I know, I know….what I’m promising you here with this program is the idea that you can stay in your introverted bubble, and not have to be social and expose yourself to the world in order to recover.
But if you bear with me for a moment, I just need about 2% of your total recovery time in order to push you through some discomfort.
In particular, I believe there are 4 of these “discomfort points” that may challenge you to stretch yourself a bit. Depending on the situation, these may not apply to everyone:
1) Asking for help.
2) A short stay at an inpatient treatment center.
3) Opening up and being honest with a substance abuse therapist.
4) Finding 1 solid friend that you check in with on a consistent basis.
The most important stretch moment of all – surrender and asking for help
This is going to vary depending on the person.
For some of us, asking for help comes easily, and we have no problem with it.
For most of us who are stuck in addiction, asking for help is a lot harder. Trust issues in particular may play a role in this.
Ultimately, you need to figure out who the person (or persons) are that you can trust to help you with a very specific situation, namely, how to take the first step in overcoming your addiction. For many of us, this will involve a short stay in a rehab facility (more on that in a minute).
Let’s face it, some people are going to be powerless to help you with this. They may listen and be supportive, but unless they can help you coordinate inpatient treatment, they aren’t going to be the person you are looking for in this case. Most of us are going to need the kick start that comes from the next stretch moment: inpatient rehab.
A vitally important stretch moment for most people is going to inpatient rehab
This may be the scariest sticking point that keeps a lot of introverts stuck in their addiction: they refuse to go to inpatient rehab.
I was one of these people for a long time.
For several years I had too much anxiety to face the prospect of going to an inpatient treatment center. I just couldn’t do it. I was too scared.
So what changed for me? Why did I eventually overcome this fear and go to rehab anyway?
It’s a simple formula, and it applies to every addict and alcoholic, every single time:
When the pain of staying stuck in your addiction becomes greater than your fear of change, you will finally change.
In other words, the addict is afraid to change. They cling to their addiction because it is comfortable; it’s what they know. And going to rehab is scary. Living a whole new lifestyle is scary. Facing life without the crutch of your drug of choice is scary.
But addiction itself becomes miserable. It’s pain and suffering. It’s not fun anymore. And it gets worse and worse over time.
At some point, the pain of addiction becomes so great, that the fear of change, the fear of recovery, the fear of rehab–it becomes almost irrelevant.
I can remember being nearly suicidal in my misery. At that point, what did I have to lose? So what if rehab was scary? So was suicide. So was the prospect of a lifetime of hell. I was done.
And that is what they refer to in traditional recovery as the moment of complete surrender. You become miserable enough to say “okay, I’ve really had enough now, I’ll do whatever it takes.”
And that’s when you smash through the stretch moment, agree to go to rehab for a few weeks, and reset your life so you can start living again.
Opening up and being honest with a substance abuse therapist
You may not be excited about sitting down with a therapist every week for the rest of your life. You may be more guarded than that.
However, there are a few key points when it comes to seeing a weekly therapist:
1) A weekly therapist is part of our plan for replacing a lifetime of daily AA meetings. You are getting a 1 on 1 instead of a room full of people. This is a huge win for introverts.
2) After you go a few times, you will see that this can be super beneficial for you, in ways that you did not predict. It’s going to unlock more growth other than “just helping you not drink or use drugs.”
3) Therapy has become much more convenient now that you can do virtual sessions if that is your preference.
4) Did I mention it’s 1 on 1 rather than a room full of people? You need people in your life in order to recover from addiction. If not a room full of AA, then what? This is part of that solution.
Checking in with at least 1 friend on a consistent basis
In addition to a therapist, you should stretch yourself to find at least 1 other person that you can meet up with once a week for coffee.
This one is tough for a lot of introverts, I know. But the rewards are huge if you can pull it off. It’s also quite powerful if it is arranged as a standing date, so that it is ultra consistent.
Bonus points if this friend happens to be in recovery as well, but that isn’t really necessary, since you will also have a therapist, and some other support avenues. The idea is just that you are stretching yourself to get a tiny bit of socialization to help balance things out a bit.
You can avoid a lifetime of discomfort with just a few uncomfortable stretch moments
Don’t worry! You can still be an introvert. Notice that these stretch moments are all up front; they are at the beginning of your recovery journey.
After that, you get to reap the rewards for the rest of your life.
Essentially, at the beginning of your journey, you:
1) Ask someone you trust to help you get into rehab.
2) Go to rehab for a few weeks to reset your life and launch yourself into recovery.
3) Get a therapist that you meet with weekly, get comfortable with, and do 1 on 1 sessions with.
4) Find a single friend to meet with maybe once weekly for coffee.
That’s it for the scary stuff. If you can stretch yourself this much, then you can overcome your addiction, and enjoy an amazing life in recovery.
Leave a Reply