When I started my recovery journey I was exposed to groups for a brief moment in time–both AA meetings as well as traditional group therapy.
This lasted for only a very short time before I quickly drifted away, realizing that neither solution was right for me.
But before we get to that, I think it’s important to note the counterargument for a moment:
A group setting has value in early recovery
If you are doing group therapy with other addicts or alcoholics, or if you are in an AA or NA meeting, then you are engaging in something called identification.
This is what was revolutionary about AA when it was first introduced to the world–before then, every alcoholic tended to believe that they were unique, and that they were the only person in the world who suffered with such an affliction.
So having a group of recovering addicts or alcoholics come together let the person know that they were not alone, that there were others like them, and that there was hope for them to recover. They could tell stories about their struggle and they could listen to each other and they would then identify with each other’s stories.
This is powerful.
And it is what made AA become the de facto solution, and essentially created the entire concept of recovery. Before that, addicts and alcoholics were just left to figure it out on their own, with no real hope.
Now in Introverted Recovery, we aim to remove the social element, so we do not want to rely on meetings or group therapy.
However, in the beginning, there is value in them, for the reason described here–that of identification with other alcoholics and addicts.
My suggestion to the struggling addict or alcoholic, therefore, is always to seek inpatient treatment, where they will (briefly) be exposed to this concept of identification, and most likely be exposed to both groups and AA meetings. Again, this lets the struggling addict know that they are not unique, and that there is hope, and that they can, in fact, recover.
The goal–for us–is not to stay in meetings and groups in the long run. The goal is to embrace a stretch moment in early recovery to bridge this gap between active addiction and the lifestyle that is Introverted Recovery.
We don’t have to rely on groups in the long run. But the struggling addict or alcoholic may need a way to identify in order to jump start their early recovery. This may require, at the bare minimum, inpatient rehab. It did for me.
Eventually it felt like a waste of time for me
Groups, in particular AA meetings, eventually felt like a waste of time to me. I was sitting in a meeting at one point, and I had been considering walking away from them completely, and I said to myself “Let’s actually see what value I take away from this meeting.”
And so I listened intently, and I measured, and I analyzed. And I realized that it was all dribble, at least at that particular meeting. I really got no value at all, because people were merely telling their stories and identifying with each other, rather than pushing each other towards any kind of real progress or growth.
I thought: if I had spent this posting in an online recovery forum, and reading posts there for 20 minutes, I would have gotten more value. Or if I had been in a 1 on 1 session with a therapist it would have been vastly more valuable. Or writing in a journal. Or even walking outdoors for a half hour. But the value I was getting out of that meeting just wasn’t there.
And it was because I was past the point of identification. I knew that I was no longer unique just because I was alcoholic, and I knew there were others like me, and I knew there was hope for sustained recovery, and therefore….I no longer needed that message reinforced over and over again.
I was ready to move on to more focused problem solving. More focused efforts at personal growth.
More productive ways to use my time and energy in recovery.
Some people have an aversion due to social anxiety
Some people who are introverts (though not all of us) are going to have some amount of social anxiety as well.
For those people, attending groups or meetings is going to be a no-go.
It’s just going to add an extra layer of stress and anxiety to try to manage their entire recovery based on regular–or even daily–group settings.
Introverted Recovery has a solution for these individuals as well.
There is a better way for us
You can potentially get more focused problem solving and progress with a dedicated therapist or coach, tools of self introspection, and a program of focused goal setting and daily action.
And this is what I realized at some point–that I was wasting time in groups and meetings on simply identifying with others in recovery, something I no longer needed to do, without really solving any problems. I was wasting my time in group settings.
I realized that I could make a leap of faith, and walk away from groups and meetings forever–which was seriously cautioned against in AA–and forge my own path of positive action, focused problem solving, personal growth, 1 on 1 counseling, and daily accountability to myself.
Make no mistake, I was afraid of walking away from meetings, so I forced myself to step up my efforts to the next level. And thus the program of Introverted Recovery was born.
Leave a Reply